SOUTH WALTON (THE 30A TRIBUNE) — There is no polite way to say this: the Gulf breeze has developed a complete disregard for private schedules. It appears without notice, rearranges carefully composed hair, and sometimes interrupts outdoor lunch settings.
In a civilized society, wind would provide a reasonable arrival window and send an advance notification before disturbing a linen napkin. We ask no more of the atmosphere than we do of a competent concierge.
The editorial board proposes a voluntary system under which breezes are encouraged to coordinate with local leisure calendars. We acknowledge that the atmosphere has not responded to our inquiries.
There is, of course, no real resident, household or committee behind this report. The 30A Tribune publishes imaginary events and fictional characters for satirical entertainment.
